My Lament

As a part of my therapy I was asked to write a lament like those you find in the Psalms, when David complained to the Lord about what was happening and then ended by saying that he would trust God through it all.  So here is my lament and my prayer is that the Lord would use it to give you courage and faith through it all:

My Lament

March 19, 2013

 

1.     O God, you created everything that is with just a word, a thought, a vision, and a plan.  You knitted me together in my mother’s womb and you know my name. Your desire in all that you created; even in the few years you have planned for me is that you would receive honor and glory.

2.    But God, how do you expect my life to bring glory to you when you continue to bring me so much pain.  I surrendered my life to serve you, to tell others about you, to help them to live Godly lives. Yet you keep trying to destroy me.  You send me people who want to blow up my home, people who complain that I am a lousy shepherd, people who betray my trust, friends who rally others against me, to send me away. Not just once but over and over again it continues to happen.  You break me in pieces and then break what is left of me in smaller pieces. How can this give you glory? Why are you doing this to me? I love you.

3.    Then you say, “My grace is sufficient”; you say, “I will not desert you or harm you”; you say, “I have plans for you and I am about to do something new, Can’t you see it?” You say, “When I am weak, then you can make me strong.” I depend on your promise that if I wait upon you, you will raise me up on eagle wings.

4.    God, as I lay before you as a small broken piece left now from what I was, fit me into the mosaic of your masterpiece. Let my small piece tell a powerful story about who you are. Let my small piece be a part of this beautiful plan for people to glorify you for your wisdom and design. Let it draw people closer to you in faith and love

5.    I love you and I trust you. I realize I will never fully have an answer to my whys. I also believe that because all things work together for good to those who love you that you will hear my lament and you will do something beautiful.

6.    My request is that, for now, you will surround me with a few good friends with whom I can share my tears and fears, my mistakes and weakness. A few good friends who will love me in flesh and blood the way you love me in spirit.